Jacky never imagined she would spend her life in South Africa. Originally from the UK, she became an English teacher in her twenties and lived in Europe and North Africa before moving to Vietnam for 25 years. When she lost her partner to breast cancer in 2019, she decided to move to Spain and start a business supporting students studying abroad.
“Then the pandemic came and everything shut down,” she says. “Suddenly I was cut off from everything.”
She began reading and writing fanfiction online, a hobby she took up as a sort of escape when her partner became ill. “There was a big group on Facebook for the lesbian storyline in the TV series Holby City, which was about two surgeons in their 50s who had this electric chemistry,” says Jacky. Although she wasn’t hoping to meet a new partner, the platform offered her a chance to connect with people and make friends.
One of her stories caught the attention of Philippa, a pastor from Cape Town, South Africa. “I always knew I was gay, but I worked for a Pentecostal church and had chosen church over a relationship or exploring my sexuality,” she says. “For me, that secret was something I would take to the grave. But when I discovered the story of these two characters in Holby City, I was drawn to it. I found Jacky’s amazing fanfiction and escaped into this fantasy world.”
Philippa looked for Jacky’s Facebook page and they started chatting online, telling each other about their lives. “She was so charismatic, funny and warm,” says Jacky. “I’m not religious, but despite our differences, I felt very attracted to her.”
They got on so well that when lockdown restrictions were eased in 2021, Jacky suggested she visit Philippa in Cape Town. “I was scared and excited,” says Philippa. “I lived with people from my church and the fear of coming out was so great.”
In September, they planned their first meeting with a road trip from Cape Town to Plettenberg Bay. “Before the trip, I was introduced to their community as a friend,” says Jacky. “Our relationship started slowly, but once we started traveling, we really hit it off.”
After that, they knew they wanted to be together, but because of the distance and Philippa’s work as a pastor in a conservative area, they didn’t know how. “After being alone for so long, it was nice to fall in love with someone, but then the inner battle with myself began,” says Philippa. “I wondered if it was a sin.”
Jacky returned to Spain, but they continued to talk every day via Zoom. In early 2022, Jacky could see how much Philippa was struggling with the decision of whether or not to come out. “I respected her, but I didn’t want to hide. I told her I would leave if she wanted to and left it up to her to decide what she wanted to do.”
Philippa decided to tell another pastor at her church and some close friends and family members. “I cried uncontrollably, but I agreed with the church that I needed to resign to get things straight.”
At the end of the year, Jacky sold her flat in the UK so they could buy a house together in Cape Town. They married the day after they moved in in front of three witnesses, followed by a restaurant lunch with champagne.
Although Jacky is a humanist, she respects her partner’s faith and has encouraged her to start a local religious gathering for people in their area. “Leaving the church was a difficult time for me because it was my life’s work,” says Philippa. “I have gained more than I have lost and although I still miss her, I consider myself blessed when I see the beautiful home we have created and my love for Jacky. I have left the institution but I love God and am still a minister at heart.”
Jacky believes finding her wife was “a miracle.” From the beginning, they knew they would always be honest with each other. “And never hide,” she adds. “I can’t imagine not being with her now – she’s my best friend.”
Source: The Guardian
