Enjoy Stab’s 50 iconic Slater pictures here or the best profile ever written about Kelly here.

Bobby has cheated on us before.

For countless years, there have been hidden rumors, public statements and the logical assumption that Kelly Slater – now in the middle of his fourth decade as a professional competitor and two years into his sixth decade of life – would soon end his football career for good.

Either his bones would give out or he would tire of fame, and he would step down, leaving behind an impossible legacy and a name etched in the manuscripts of time. All that is left for him is to reach out his hand to Kalani and walk with her until his little race is over.

Yet, due to his incredibly slow physical decline, the years have passed almost unnoticed and he is neither bored nor crippled. He is stuck in purgatory – reasonably interested, reasonably physically able – but no longer surfing’s dominant competitive force. The perfect moment to get out seems to have passed and his golden hand now hovers over the eject button as he desperately tries to find a good reason to press it before the window closes forever.

After missing the mid-year cut in two consecutive seasons and giving birth to a new son who spent two weeks experiencing Hawaiian sunsets, Kelly seems ready to face his own mortality.

In a recent podcast with Barton Lynch, the most disturbing and animated man in the sporting world, Kelly revealed that this time in Fiji would be his last appearance, as the WSL moves the finals day to Cloudbreak in 2025.

“It’s the last time I’ll surf Cloudbreak at a World Tour event,” says Kelly. “Tavarua is my second home. I want to dedicate the event to Fiji and my last competition there to the people of Tavarua.”

To be clear, that comment was not the same as “my last competition ever.” Since Fiji will be the new home of the WSL Finals starting in 2025, rather than the regular CT venue, that point is technically moot. Only the top five surfers will compete in Fiji while the Finals are taking place there, and Slater is ineligible to compete.

Kelly is the most successful competitor Fiji has ever seen and there are murmurs in the deepest corners of society that if he puts in a worthy performance this week, he might drop the mic and put it all behind him and close the chapter for good.

As Taj Burrow proved in 2016, there is no better place for a two-week farewell party than Fiji – he may just have to move from Tavi to Namotu for the closing ceremony.

Kelly lost his first round heats to Barron Mamiya and Griffin Colapinto this morning and will face world number six Yago Dora in the men’s elimination round. Should he lose, it’s possible we’ll finally hear him utter the R-word.

If this is indeed his last event—which we’re skeptical about given the recent announcement that the KSWC pool will become a CT venue in 2025—we owe it to the GOAT to reflect on all he’s accomplished and what he could still accomplish, if only for one more beautiful dance at Cloudbreak.

Let’s move on to his latest retirement prediction.

The Kingpin of Cloudbreak

The 2024 Corona Fiji Pro will be Kelly Slater’s 13th Championship Tour event at Cloudbreak, tying him with Taj Burrow as the surfer with the most appearances in history.

Kelly has never lost a final here. Over the years he has won four titles, including one in 2005, and a remarkable three consecutive wins from 2008 to 2013 (the event was not held from 2009 to 2011). He has also scored seven 10-point races, more than any other surfer to ever compete in Fiji. In addition, he holds five of the top 10 heat totals at this venue, including a perfect heat in 2013 and four other times where he came within 0.3 of a perfect heat.

Aside from Kelly, Cloudbreak has long been dominated by the Screwfoots. Aside from Andy Irons’ individual win in 2003, he is the only event winner to surf left-footed.

In his prime, Kelly was Cloudbreak’s undisputed star, but his last good performance was in 2016, when he reached the semifinals, where he was knocked out by the young and feisty Gabby Medina, who would go on to win the event.

Fiji has not hosted a CT event since 2017 and his absence from the tour may have denied Kelly several opportunities to crown his career with a worthy finale.

Sometimes, however, patience is rewarded with the perfect moment. Going out as a five-time Kingpin of Cloudbreak sounds pretty tempting.

Kelly needs juice

“The swell is looking… not so good,” noted two-time event winner Damien Hobgood in his Betonline.ag tips for the competition.

On day one we saw a sizeable but chaotic cloudbreak – plenty of opportunity, but only if you know the waves and have the quad strength to take advantage of them.

Kelly is old enough to have the father of most of the competitors on tour, but to become the GOAT, he definitely needs some energy from Mother Nature.

When the waves are big and round, Kelly goes from selling kebabs on street corners with Deivid Silva to dining at the royal table with John and Gabby. He’s still more than capable of competing with the most physically gifted athletes in the world – all he needs are the right waves.

Just look at his last four event wins: Pipe 2022, Tahiti 2016, Pipe again in 2013 and Fiji 2013. All big, steep left turns.

However, under the given circumstances, Kelly will probably be denied the XL final he deserves.

Kelly needs a story

For Kelly to quit, he needs a worthy action. A lot is riding on the final event of the season – many fates yet to be written, potential triumphs and heartbreaks, possible changes to the final 5, and many dreams for Kelly to crush.

As a wildcard, Kelly will face the top seeds and take perverse pleasure in squashing the ambitions of his young rivals. Kelly will surf in the elimination round against Yago Dora – a man determined to rub the seaweed slime off his feet come September.

But even if Kelly survives the first few rounds, there are tube mavens in every corner of the draw who could win the event. There won’t be any easy heats, thanks to the mid-year massacre. However, if Kelly can somehow manage to master the draw, fight through his protesting muscles, crush today’s most talented surfers and take his fifth Cloudbreak win, then he would have a story great enough to retire with.

Previous retirement announcements

Kelly Slater retired in 1998 after winning five consecutive world titles – a decision made largely out of boredom. He returned to the tour in 2002, won six more titles and announced his retirement again in 2015 – only to reveal it was an April Fool’s joke.

A few years later, he hinted on Instagram that 2017 would be his last year – if he got healthy. But after two more seasons went by without a bye, he suddenly seemed inspired by Joel Parkinson’s retirement announcement and publicly declared that 2019 would be his last go-round.

But Kelly kept surfing, and then he stopped winning. He had planned a dramatic exit after winning the gold medal at the Olympic Games in Tahiti, but by the time the Games finally arrived, he was no longer on tour.

“If I could have delayed it, in my mind I would have surfed in the Olympics, hopefully won gold and then retired there,” he recently told Barton Lynch.

But Kelly didn’t make it to the Olympics. Having not won a single event in the last two years and not winning for six years before that, Kelly knows it’s time. He’s ready, but he needs a meaningful finish.

So why can’t it be? The final event of the 2024 season, his third decade on Tour, coinciding with the birth of his son, on a wave he both conquered and loved. It may not be the epic conclusion he envisioned, but it could provide the closure he needs.

The weather forecast is promising an announcement, but when he finally leaves, dark clouds will linger a little longer than usual. Whatever Kelly does, we’ll be peeking over the edge and watching him like we always have – with stains on our shirts and chip crumbs on our knees.

Enjoy Stab’s 50 iconic Slater images here.

Or the best profile ever written about Kelly, here.