While this is a little different than the others, it is the fifth installment in a series that has quickly evolved into a season preview for the 2024 WSU football season. My fourth dream for the season can be found Here.
The Manifesto of Good Football: Summer 2024
Ultimately, we all want the 2024-2025 Cougars to be a fun football team with a good process that plays well.
But how do you know if a good ball is being played?
Bill Parcels says, “You are what you are, what you read on your record,” but we won’t know for months, and that’s no fun. So instead I dug out The Good Football Manifesto, a seemingly self-published, anonymous rant I found in the wall of my garage a few years ago. On the back cover, it’s described as “a comprehensive, constantly evolving list of good, bad and somewhat irrelevant things that say something about the fortunes of a particular football team.”
In a true “don’t judge it before you try it” moment, I read through it last week in hopes of finding something of value for this week’s preview, and hand on heart, here are twenty entries worth paying attention to as they battle Portland State and Texas Tech.
Want to know the ultimate fate of the 2024-2025 WSU Cougar football team? Then look out for the following.
1) Helmet throwing:
Usually a sign of panic or an emphatic way of showing that you care about the bad thing that just happened.
Could mean: A team that is at the mercy of the dynamics.
2) “My mistake”:
A way to communicate that you admit your mistake.
May indicate: Good communication and accountability.
Alternatively, if this happens often and is not acknowledged by teammates, it may indicate repeated mistakes and lack of development.
3) Wide Receiver Pancakes:
When a wide receiver forces a defender to the ground. Ideally flat on his back.
Could mean: An exceptional winner. A great football team.
4) Pseudo-pancakes:
This is a worse version of Kevin Garnett’s “Block the Shot After the Whistle.” It involves an offensive player running a defensive player to the ground – but after the whistle, while falling, or illegally.
Could be a reference to: Frontrunners. Fake tough guys.
5) Solo tackles:
When a defender brings the ball carrier to the ground alone
Could indicate: A great defensive player, especially important when doing so in large areas such as flats.
Alternatively: If you rely too often on an unmotivated or out of position defense or if your plan is too risky.
6) Free runner to the quarterback: Defense
When a defender is unblocked and has a clear path to the quarterback as he attempts to throw the ball.
Could indicate: A well designed and announced defensive scheme.
7) Free runner to quarterback: Attack
When a defender is unblocked and has a clear path to the quarterback as he attempts to throw the ball.
Could indicate: An unfocused team.
8) Sprinting Big Guys: Defense
When someone weighs over 300 pounds and runs at top speed; that’s surprisingly fast once the person gets going.
Could mean: Great effort; sadness.
9) Sprinting Big Guys: Attack
When someone over 300 pounds runs at top speed; not as surprisingly fast as the defensive variety.
Could mean: joy
10) Feet off the ground: defense
When a player has no foot on the ground.
Could mean: A penalty, a pancake (sad) or a smaller player doing everything he can to knock over a bigger player. Lack of discipline.
11) Lift your feet off the ground: attack
If a player does not have a foot on the ground
Could indicate: Pain
12) Constant Screen Passes:
When an offensive team continually throws screen passes.
Could indicate: An inferior offensive line. A coach’s attempt to solve an unsolvable problem.
13) Running backs who jump:
When a running back intentionally runs to the sideline to find space and get free.
Could indicate: A fast, explosive ball carrier.
Alternatively: Lack of run blocking or a running back who is too impatient to run the ball between tackles.
14) A quarterback holding the ball: Attack
When a quarterback holds the ball long enough to read a Russian novel before passing.
Could indicate: A QB who tries to do a lot.
15) A QB who tries a lot:
A quarterback trying to make a play by either picking the perfect throw or forgoing easier throws to make a big play further down the field.
Could mean: Hero Ball. Good if you’re Kobe Bryant. Bad if you’re Jerome James.
Alternatively: An offense without experienced players.
16) A quarterback holding the ball: defense
When a quarterback holds on to the ball long enough to read another Russian novel.
Could mean: A defense that is physically dominant in pass coverage.
Alternatively: A defense that is adept at designing strategy plays and calling plays to confuse the opposing quarterback.
17) Stoic expressions:
A look for players and/or coaches that might be useful at the World Series of Poker.
Could mean: A team that is no longer able to get going
18) Depressed face:
A look worn by players and/or coaches who strive for stoicism but unfortunately cannot achieve it.
Could mean: A team that has given up
19) Unfortunate fractures:
Fumbles, interceptions, missed tackles, near catches, etc. that seem unfair. Things that don’t seem deserved, but are the result of cosmic interference.
Could indicate: A team with a good process that is about to experience some happy coincidences.
Alternatively: A talented team with bad processes that almost, but not quite, gets away with it.
20) Lucky Breaks:
Fumble recoveries, fingertip pass breakups, narrowly avoided sacks, broken tackles, etc. that seem unfair but are welcome. Things that don’t seem earned but are given to random teams and players like a ray of sunshine in a storm.
Could be an indication of: If this continues over a season and multiple seasons, this is a football team with a good process.
Alternatively: The aimless fate and the mocking laughter gave us all the football gods.
