When the new Lionsgate adaptation of Borderland The film premiered last week and was panned by critics despite featuring an all-star cast including Cate Blanchett, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Hart and Gina Gershon. But to be honest, anyone who thinks that Borderland is one of the worst video game movies of all time. Hasn’t watched nearly enough video game adaptations.

Starting with 1993 Super Mario Bros.Hollywood has frequently taken inspiration from the video game world over the past 31 years, adapting dozens of obscure and popular titles into feature films. And many of them were quite bad – mention this particular subgenre among film buffs and the word “cursed” is likely to come up. A lot.

One could argue that video games are not quite as difficult to adapt as they are: Sure, some video games contain more story than a regular movie can fit into its running time, but there are plenty of great movies based on books that often feature just as much excess narrative. What goes wrong is what separates great movies based on video games from bad ones: understanding the core of the appeal and power of the source material and amplifying those qualities using the special powers inherent in the new medium.

Just think that television has recently been home to some extremely successful video game adaptations, such as The Last of Us And Stand out. In the case of The Last of UsExecutive producer Craig Mazin was such a big fan of the games that he brought in game writer and director Neil Druckmann as co-showrunner to ensure fidelity to the original narrative. In the meantime, the writers of Stand out were given the opportunity to tell an original story that still built on the rich lore of the series, in a way that led to Emmy nominations.

Successful adaptation means understanding what to keep, what to leave out and what to change. And there are films that have managed to do this – well, there are at least funny examples like Sonic the Hedgehog, Pokémon Detective Pikachuand (most) resident Evil Movies. You will even find one or two defenders of the Grave robbers Films and Duncan Jones’ Warcraft.

Then there’s the rest. This is a list of the 10 worst video game movies of all time. It could have been the 20th worst very easy. Almost all of these films are about 90 minutes long. Almost all of them feel longer.

I have seen them all to write this.

I regret… some things.

An important note about Uwe Boll’s video game films

During the first brainstorming for this list, a question immediately arose: What to do with House of the Dead, Alone in the dark, BloodRayne, Post, and other video game films by Uwe Boll? Because he has made at least twelve of them to date and they are all being panned by critics in a way that few other directors have ever experienced.

I think that’s because Uwe Boll doesn’t actually make films – he literally takes tax write-offs for his own production company and does a terrible job of it. His greatest contribution to the world of cinema was knocking film critics out of Something Awful and Ain’t It Cool News in 2006. Everything else… just doesn’t count.

So, although none of his films are listed here, there is a spiritual zero in this ranking, and that is reserved for Boll’s entire filmography. Frankly, as the author of this list, I don’t care if it was cheating not to include Uwe Boll’s films in the discussion, because I was the one who actually watched the following films, and the human mind can only process so much. And as you will see, my mind still had a lot to process. much.