Living your life despite all the chaos around you isn’t always easy, but many people manage to master this skill. In fact, many of them continue to thrive and persevere in situations where others wouldn’t be able to.
As I travel the world, I am impressed by the resilience of the people I meet. I have met people who have experienced war and political unrest – in addition to a range of personal and professional problems. Despite it all, they carry on with their lives. They “keep going,” as the saying goes, and their perseverance has been a constant source of inspiration for me.
Relevance of Terror Management Theory (TMT)
The idea that we can persevere despite difficulties and still find meaning and value in our lives is not new. In psychology, the concept is known as Terror Management Theory (TMT). This theory assumes that although we all have an instinct for self-preservation, this often conflicts with the fact that death is an inevitable and unpredictable part of life.
All humans are mortal, yet we strive for “immortality” in a unique way. an expert sums it up:
“Literal and symbolic immortality are fundamental foundations of our psychological security, but they depend on two things. First, we must maintain belief in a culturally determined worldview that provides a basis for belief in the possibilities of literal and/or symbolic immortality. Second, we must believe that we make valuable contributions to this world in order to qualify for these forms of transcending our physical death.”
As a police officer, you are confronted with physical death on a more or less regular basis. While the thought of death can evoke a sense of terror, we can cope by focusing on things of meaning and value – and appreciating our personal contribution to society.
Emphasis on valuable
One of the pioneers of terror management theory, Ernest Becker, suggested that “One important function of culture is to provide successful ways of denying death.” The strategies we use include religion (and especially belief in an afterlife), national identity, cultural values, and other belief systems. When we deny death, we are not deceiving ourselves or avoiding reality. Rather, we are simply continuing to live our lives despite having no control over the world in which we live.
In times of crisis, we can hide or thrive. Successful people have a tendency to thrive.
So when there is unrest, war, political conflict or other uncertainty, many people simply choose to continue to enjoy their livesWe go to restaurants, attend concerts, watch movies, get married, have children, and go about our lives as human beings. That doesn’t mean we’re unaware of the dangers around us – we’re just not paralyzed by the anxiety, fear, and uncertainty of things beyond our control.
Of course, when danger threatens, we try to protect our own lives and the lives of those around us, but we do not allow the fear and uncertainty of the world to affect our well-being.
The situation is no different with the uncertainty surrounding police work.
Police realities
There are few jobs where you can go to work and not know if you’ll be able to get home at the end of your shift. If you were to focus on that uncertainty every day, you’d probably never leave the house.
There are many reasons why you chose your profession: to serve the public, to make a difference in your community, to have a job you can be proud of, and to make a living. Of course, when you started out, you may not have anticipated some of the things you’ve had to deal with over the past few years. You may have experienced civil unrest, riots, “peaceful protests,” and negativity from the public you continue to serve despite their apathy and mostly unjustified criticism. You certainly did not anticipate the blanket demonization of you and everyone who practices your profession.
Even more concerning is the failure of political “leaders” who have caved to the demands of the loudest voices, resulting in negative changes for the community you serve. You are not immune to the moral damage caused by misguided policies that have tied your hands and allowed wrongdoers to continue to flout the law despite multiple arrests. Unfortunately, some law enforcement leaders have become (at best) complacent about supporting their officers, and (at worst) have begun to treat their officers as if they were the problem, not part of the solution.
Note that I used the term “police manager” and not “police leader.” Leaders lead. Leaders treat their officers as assets, not liabilities. Leaders stand behind their officers and their officers know it. Managers, on the other hand, simply get on with their duties. They are risk averse – they are more concerned with their own advancement than with the development of the officers who report to them. Unfortunately, they are far more interested in securing their careers than developing and protecting the next generation(s) of officers.
If you work in a department where your career opportunities are limited and you know that the department, politicians and the public will always be hypercritical of your actions, you are in a difficult situation. You may even have to rethink your career choice.
Stay positive and focused
So what motivates you to protect and serve every day? While it may be hard to see at times, you are providing a service that not everyone can provide. Given the current recruiting challenges facing departments across the country, you are actually doing a job not many are willing to do. You continue your work because you have values and believe in something. You know (or at least hope) that your community is a safe place thanks to your work.
In the language of terror management theory, you are acting as a “valued contribution to this world.” To take your mind off the dangers you face on a daily basis, you might focus on the things in your life that bring you joy and pleasure. This helps you take your mind off the things you have no control over. When you truly have a break—when you are able to separate your work life from your personal life and refocus on the things that matter to you—you are contributing to your own self-preservation. This may sound new to some of you, but let’s look at how you can do it.
Despite everything your department and the community are going through, there is only so much you can do. There are things that are out of your control. Think of it this way: you are like a surgeon, focused on the area you need to operate on, nothing else. You focus on what can be done in that moment. The same goes for your life.
Your main focus should be on yourself and your family. “Family first” is not just a mantra, it is a way of life. Your family can Your most important escape routeso don’t underestimate the importance of maintaining contact. Family outings, trips and even simple meals together are immensely effective ways to maintain your family’s connection and cohesion.
Your hobbies and passions bring out your creativity. They help you take a step back from your job and the things outside of your control. Whether it’s fishing with your kids, working out with your friends, fixing old cars, or playing in a band, your hobbies are the best way to distract yourself from the reality of your work. If you don’t currently have a hobby you’re passionate about, I encourage you to find one. If you’ve given up on your hobbies and passions because you’re always too tired or just can’t find the time for them, I encourage you to pick them up again (or find new interests to pursue).
Discover how hobbies can significantly reduce stress and improve your mental and physical well-being. From woodworking to exercising, find your way out and enrich your life! Watch the video below to learn more about the surprising benefits.
Keep going
Think again of the person who, despite living in a war zone, is living their best life. They continue to go to the movies, go out to eat, and celebrate life events. It’s not that they don’t know there’s a war going on – it’s that they refuse to let danger and fear of death change the way they live. They refuse to let things outside of their control dictate their happiness and enjoyment of life.
The same is true for you. Even if your community isn’t under artillery and rocket fire, you still face danger every day. You also have to contend with dysfunction in your departments, unfair attitudes from community members, and many other external factors. Terror management theory suggests that you need positive ways to deal with these realities. Bottom line: Your satisfaction outside of work cannot be determined by these problems at work.
You don’t just survive, you thrive. You continue to protect and serve. You keep “moving on,” sweeping aside the darkness and negativity and letting the light in so you can find true happiness and joy in your life.
Until next time, stay healthy.
