It was a few months after the BBC broadcast my episode of The Cave of Dragons that I got the call that changed my life. I had worked all night as usual and was checking my email one last time at 4 a.m. when I saw him. It was a message from a woman I didn’t know. “I know this is going to sound really weird,” Jess* wrote, “but I read your story and I think our children have the same father.”

Immediately I asked myself: “Am I imagining things? Am I really tired now?” I couldn’t believe my eyes. She said the name of my child’s father and then I knew. It was true. But I still thought: How did she come to this conclusion? Could it be true? Is it a trick? The woman told me that she has a three-year-old daughter. My son is 12 and has always wanted a sister. I was shocked but replied: “Thank you very much.” We agreed to meet.

I was 27 when I got pregnant by a man I’d known for years. We’d been friends since we were teenagers, but I was in a very difficult and abusive relationship with someone else. A few years after that relationship ended, we started spending more time together. It felt like it was meant to be. It happened very quickly and just felt right for the first time in my life. I’d never been in a relationship where I was treated right.

But he started showing signs of dominance. He became obsessive and always wanted to know where I was. I was working in nightclubs at the time and he became very jealous. He covered up his low self-esteem with this huge boasting about flashy cars and being “the man.” I saw the warning signs and got out; I had learned my lesson. But it turned out that I was already pregnant by then. At first he was happy and went with me for an ultrasound. But within two weeks he had completely changed his mind. “You can’t have this baby,” he told me. “You have to have an abortion. I don’t want to be a father.”

I wanted to keep the baby, though. So we broke off the connection and then my son was born. At this point I was also caring for my dad – he had a stroke when I was 19. Both he and my toddler, who was just learning to use the potty, were having trouble with the toilet and what I really needed was some kind of portable hand-held toilet, which didn’t seem to exist.

The idea for the invention had been in my head for years, but it never came to fruition. At least until 2020. Just before lockdown, I had spinal surgery and I remember asking myself what I always wanted and it was to start this company. By that time, my father had also died. I had to give it a go. I launched the product, which I called Whizzer, in 2021, with literally nothing but credit card debt and a social media account. Within a year, I was winning awards.

One day I received a message via my website from a researcher for The Cave of Dragons. They said they found me on social media and liked the story behind the product. They asked me to apply for the show. The Cave of Dragons is a very long process. I don’t think people realize how long it takes. They approached me in February 2022 and I had to go through a lot of due diligence. You’re never sure if you’re going to make it to the next round and then suddenly it’s there.

In May they asked me to come and film the show with a week or two’s notice. I went to Manchester, stayed in a hotel they had booked for me and spent the time preparing.

I was confident in my business, but everyone is afraid of numbers and that was one of my biggest fears when presenting the pitch. I have ADHD, so my brain struggles with that kind of thing. I was also nervous because I was basically bringing a toilet into the program. Would the whole thing be portrayed as a joke? I had also talked about my mental health and my bipolar disorder. I didn’t want to be a laughing stock.

Luckily, the show was very well received. The money from the show saved my business and changed everything for me. Steven Bartlett and Sara Davies came together to invest in Kiddiwhizz. The show aired earlier this year and that’s when I started doing interviews. Then an online group for single mums called Frolo asked me to write a blog post about my experiences. And that’s exactly the post Jess* saw when she contacted me.

We met in the park while my son was playing soccer. She was so nice. But everyone had warned me to be careful. I had so many questions. When she read my story, she said she immediately noticed the similarities. My son’s father had done the exact same thing to her. He had told Jess* he wanted her to have an abortion and used my son as an example of a child he already had and didn’t care for. She said there were even more of us.

If I hadn’t done it The Cave of Dragons I would never have found out. Our children were obsessed with each other from the beginning. We started meeting on odd weekends and our children have been staying at each other’s houses ever since. Although the children are of different ethnic composition, you can see the similarities, especially the same eyes. If you saw them together, you would think they were siblings. My son now picks up his half-sister from daycare when he has free time since we live not far from each other. We have this incredible bond because of our shared experiences.

Although it has been difficult at times for me and my son, I look at the life I have ultimately had and think we have been really lucky. We have been through a lot and are the people we are because of it.