For many people, the idea of becoming a parent is a natural step in life’s journey. But what happens when someone chooses a different path? This was the question posed to a 36-year-old woman (u/WowCleverUsername) in a Reddit post in which she described her struggles as the only childless person in her family.
In her post, she explained that her siblings, aged 34 and 37, each have three children, while she has none of her own and never plans to have any. She enjoys the freedom to travel and the ability to spend money on herself, her pets and the charities she supports. But this decision came at a cost. Her family often called her “selfish” for not wanting to “experience the magic of motherhood.”
She wrote, “They call me selfish even though I have helped my two siblings financially several times and never asked for the money back.” The pressure from her family was always a bit too much. Her parents and siblings often made comments like, “Your boyfriend will leave you if you don’t give him a child.” Although she explains that her boyfriend is also childless and that she would let him go if he ever wanted to have children, they keep making comments like, “You will be alone when you are old.”
The constant harassment from the family led the woman to avoid visiting them. “It got to the point where I stopped visiting my parents and didn’t speak to my siblings for almost a year. But the other day my sister called and told me that she was inviting her family to her daughter’s third birthday party and she would love for me to be there. I told her I wasn’t sure because every time I’m around them they gang up on me and attack my lifestyle. She assured me that my personal life would not be discussed,” the post said.
She reluctantly agreed to attend the party and brought a gift for the birthday girl. All was going well until a family member started making comments about her lifestyle and things went south. “I got mad and decided to give them a taste of their own medicine. I said, ‘You know, a lot of people think they want kids, but then they start regretting their own kids. So, I don’t know, maybe one day you’ll stop loving your kids and resent them for draining your resources.’ My sister-in-law gasped. Then I left without saying another word. Since then, my parents and relatives have been bombarding me with angry texts and calls, telling me to apologize for saying ‘such a horrible thing.’ I told them they were fucking hypocrites because they insult my life choices but can’t stand it when I insult theirs,” she added.
She ended her post by asking people on the platform if they had been wrong to call her a “hypocrite.” Her post sparked a wider discussion about expectations for people, especially women, to conform to traditional roles. “I hate the assumption that just being with kids means you love and want them. I also hate the assumption that you have to hate them because you don’t want kids, and that is so wrong and selfish. I didn’t want kids. I don’t have any. But I love my cousin’s kids more than anything! The kids are amazing. I didn’t want the responsibility. Or the guilt if I’m not a perfect mom,” u/noonenottoday wrote.
“But unfortunately they failed to recognize their own hypocrisy. You can’t argue with people who find it incomprehensible that there are different life choices and worldviews,” u/peregrination_ added. “And I don’t know what OP means by this, but spending time with kids only reinforces my desire to never have my own,” u/lmdelint commented.
