ARIES 21 March – 19 April
Years ago, when I worked as a mail carrier in Santa Cruz, California, I learned my route quickly. The allotted time was six hours, but I easily completed it in four. Soon I began fooling around for two hours a day, six days a week. Many great works of literature and music entertained me during that time. I joined a softball team and was able to play an entire game every Saturday while officially working. Was what I was doing unethical? I don’t think so, since I always did my job thoroughly and accurately. Is there a comparable opportunity in your life, Aries? An ethical loophole? A workaround that has perfect integrity? An get-out clause that does no harm?
BULL 20 April – 20 May
From an astronomer’s perspective, Uranus is huge. Sixty-three Earths could fit inside it. It is also oddly unique in that it rotates sideways compared to the other planets. From an astrologer’s perspective, Uranus symbolizes the talents and gifts we possess that can be of use to others. If we fully develop these potentials, they will express our unique genius and benefit those around us. It so happens that Uranus has been cruising through the constellation of Taurus since 2018 and will remain there for most of 2026. I view these years as your best chance in this lifetime to take advantage of the opportunities I have described. The coming weeks will be especially full of opportunity.
TWINS 21 May – 20 June
Climber Edmund Hillary is known as the first person to reach the summit of Mount Everest. That happened in 1953. Less famous was his companion on that climb, Gemini climber Tenzing Norgay. Why did Hillary receive more recognition than Norgay, even though they were equal partners in this monumental feat? Was it because one was a white New Zealander and the other a brown Nepalese? In any case, I like to speculate that if there is a situation in your life similar to Norgay’s, you will experience improvement in the coming months. You will receive more of the recognition you deserve. You will reap the recognition and acclaim that was not available to you before. And it will all begin soon.
CANCER 21 June – 22 July
As an American, I am humbled by the fact that my fellow Americans and I make up just four percent of the world’s population but produce 20 percent of the trash. How is that possible? In any case, I vow that over the next five weeks, I will decrease the amount of trash I produce and increase the amount of junk I recycle. I encourage you, my fellow cancer survivors, to make a similar pledge. In ways that may not be immediately imaginable, engaging in these things will improve your mental health and may even inspire you to gain a new set of insights about how to live your life with verve and joy.
LION 23 July – 22 August
The coming weeks will be a wonderful time to waste time on the internet. If you’re properly in tune with the cosmic rhythms, you’ll spend many hours watching silly videos, interacting with friends and strangers on social media, and buying products you don’t really need. JUST KIDDING!! Everything I just said was a dirty lie. It was meant to test your ability to resist disruptive influences and mediocre advice. Here’s my honest advice, Leo. The coming weeks will be a fantastic period to waste as little time as possible while you increase your focus on the few things that matter most to you.
VIRGO 23 August – 22 September
Scientific research suggests that brushing and flossing not only promotes the health of your gums, but also protects the health of your heart. Other studies show that if you maintain robust gut flora, you’re more likely to avoid anxiety and depression while boosting your mental health. The coming weeks will be an opportune time to focus on such big-picture thoughts, Virgo. You’d do well to meditate on how each part of your life affects every other part. You’ll be lucky if you become more aware of and appreciate the close interconnectedness that underlies everything you do.
SCALE 23 Sept. – 22 Oct.
The official name for the shape of a single M&M candy is an oblate spheroid. It is rounded, but not perfectly round. It looks like a partially squashed sphere. An Iraqi man named Ibrahim Sadeq decided to attempt the difficult task of arranging as many M&Ms as possible in a vertical stack. With seven M&Ms, he is now the world record holder in this feat. I imagine that you, dear Libra, could accomplish a comparable feat in your own field shortly. What is challenging, but not impossible?
SCORPIO 23 October – 21 November
I’ve heard many people brag about their hangovers. The stories they tell are often entertaining and humorous. One of my best laughs came when two friends told a story about jumping on the roof of a parked Mercedes Benz at 3am and singing songs from Verdi’s opera. Falstaff until the police came and threw them in a prison cell for ten hours, where they were given nothing to eat or drink. In accordance with the astrological signs, Scorpio, I ask you, not You won’t have a hangover in the next few weeks, not even a fun one. Instead, I encourage you to eagerly seek out lots of pleasurable experiences that have only positive side effects.
PROTECT 22 November – 21 December
Most famous musicians demand that their wardrobe be stocked with certain amenities. Beyoncé needs rose-scented candles. Rihanna expects navy or black curtains with ice-blue chiffon in her prep room. Eminem insists on a set of 25-pound dumbbells, and hip-hop duo Rae Sremmurd wants Super Soaker water guns. Since the coming weeks could be as close to your rock star phase as ever, I recommend making a list of the luxuries you need. Hopefully, this imaginative exercise will put you in the mood to ask for exactly what you need everywhere you go.
CAPRICORN 22 December – 19 January
Lack of sleep is widespread. I see it as a pandemic. According to some studies, more than half of the people in the world suffer from insomnia, do not get enough sleep, or have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Most research on this topic fails to mention an equally important problem: that many people do not dream enough. And the fact is that dreams are key to our psychological well-being. I bring this to your attention, Capricorn, because the coming weeks will be an opportune time to improve your relationship with sleep and dreams. I encourage you to learn everything you can and do everything you can to make your time in bed deeply restorative.
AQUARIUS 20 January – 18 February
Only 47 people live on the volcanic Pitcairn Islands, located in the middle of nowhere in the South Pacific. There is virtually no pollution, which is why the honey produced by the local bees is the purest in the world. In accordance with the astrological omens, I would love for you to receive such honey in the coming weeks. I hope you will also seek the best and purest of everything. Now more than ever, you need to connect with influences that are strong, clear, real, raw, alive, natural and full of power.
FISH 19 February – 20 March
Many Native Americans picked and ate wild cranberries. But it wasn’t until 1816 that farm-grown cranberries began to appear for commercial use. And so it happened: In Cape Cod, Massachusetts, a farmer discovered a secret about the wild cranberry bog on his land. Whenever big storms threw sand onto the bog, the fruit grew more lush and vigorous. He tinkered with this revelation of nature and figured out how to grow cranberries. I recommend this story as a teaching story, Pisces. Your task is to harness the power and wisdom of a metaphorical storm or disturbance. Use it to produce a practical innovation in your life.
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