When I first stepped into a classroom as a substitute teacher two years ago, little did I know that I was about to embark on a learning journey of my own. I had never been a teacher before, never written a lesson plan or enforced a classroom management system. On my first day, I was given the key to a classroom full of first graders and believe me when I say, I received an education.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I didn’t expect it to be this difficult, especially for a part-time job. At the end of the day, as I struggled through final procedures while one student knocked over chairs, another hid under a table with a stuffed animal, and two students lost their temper at the chaos, I honestly wondered if I had what it took to do it.

Classrooms aren’t what I remember from my childhood in the 1990s. There was always that one loud kid who’s probably a stand-up comedian today, and maybe another who cried quietly when his feelings were hurt. But I’d never experienced anything even remotely like the emotional rollercoaster that rocked that afternoon class.

I didn’t know if I would go again. But after some encouragement from my neighbor, a fourth-grade teacher, I decided to give it another try – if only to at least cover the cost of my emergency sublicense. It only took me one more full day.

Dynamics in the classroom

The next time I was in a classroom, I made sure it wasn’t first grade. I read the substitute teacher schedules and classroom management notes carefully. Somehow I got through the day, bravely taking on another assignment and then another, still avoiding the first graders.

The dynamics in the classroom are as varied as the students themselves. Some days I navigate yellow-lit rooms and respond to silent coyote gestures, and other days I encounter the chaos of overturned chairs and midday meltdowns. But through these experiences, I have learned the most about the dynamics that exist in their classrooms. It has changed the way I help them with homework and help them navigate the social challenges they face in “Skibidi Ohio.”

I’ve also developed more empathy for the teachers, staff, support staff, and administrators and what they experience on any given day. It can be a lot. Now I ask my kids if anything was thrown at them, if the kids behaved on the bus, or if they had to report another student’s behavior. I ask them, and if I can put a face and a name to the kids they spend most of their day with, I know how to guide them.

If I’m being completely honest, I listen better. They’re not talking about a TV show I know nothing about. I’m interested in the characters – I want my daughters and their classmates to be happy, even those they’re not getting along with at the moment.

I was never a counterforce to what my kids’ teachers did. I volunteered for parties and field trips, but it’s different when you’re in charge of students and start to develop your own relationship with them. I see kids I know at baseball games – sometimes I cheer for my daughter’s team and the kid who just hit a double against the other team because I know him. I know he needs someone to cheer for him too.

What else you should know

Here are some things you may not know about the teachers in our public schools: They care about your children. They know your children, their hobbies, likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, and favorite superheroes. They are usually looking for anything to praise. At a time when so much is changing, these schools need our attention and support. COVID-19 has impacted a number of support structures around our schools.

We need volunteers, active parents and grandparents, coaches and community leaders to support our teachers – many of them local – to make our schools the powerful community influencers they can be.

As a substitute teacher, you are given evacuation, safety and lesson plans, lockdown and shelter in place plans, class schedules (which change daily), life-threatening health notifications for allergies, diabetes and the like, and additional plans for students with social, emotional or mental health issues. You are given classroom management guides to learn, point systems, table names, buckets to fill, gimkits to play with and expectations to follow. You have to figure out who the “helpful” students are and identify the rebellious ones – all in one day.

But teachers store this knowledge so that they can have it at hand at any time in addition to their teaching duties – do you remember what job they were hired for?

Modern education is a whole new world. I invite you to be part of it with and for our children. If we want to see change, let us be that change.

It starts with being curious. Empty your child’s backpack when they get home, ask pointed questions about their day, go to a parent-teacher meeting (I hear they have good snacks), and look for opportunities to volunteer and help out with your child’s class.

There is no real substitute for a teacher and there is no substitute for you.

• Kelly Wilbanks has lived in Terrace Heights with her husband and three daughters since 2014. She loves exploring Yakima with her family on a budget, whether it’s on a Wine Wednesday, thrifting or doing a scavenger hunt at the local library. Wilbanks writes columns for Explore when she gets the chance.