Shashi Bhat’s latest work, Death by a thousand cutsis a collection of short stories that deals with the impossible expectations that come with being a woman in everyday life.

Death by a thousand cuts delves into the diverse, relatable experiences of modern women. The short stories follow various women who struggle with the daily problems of their relationships with others, themselves and the world around them – from a student who tries to change her eye color after a mean comment from her boyfriend to a writer whose ex published a novel about their relationship.

Bhat’s previous works include the novel The most valuable material on earth, which was a finalist for the 2022 Governor General’s Literary Award for Fiction. Her short story Mute won the Writers’ Trust McClelland & Stewart Journey Prize 2018. She has been nominated for a National Magazine Award and the RBC Bronwen Wallace Award. She is also the author of the novel The family took shape. Bhat lives in New Westminster, BC.

She discussed some of the challenges women face today and the difficulties of modern dating in the digital world with Christa Couture on The next chapter.

You’ve written two novels, but this is your first collection. I read an interview recently where you said the short story is the perfect vehicle for emotion. What did you mean by that?

I just think there’s nothing that can shake me like a short story. Part of it is the structure of a story, the way its ending can convey this sense of indecision that creates the possibility for a punch-in-the-gut or lump-in-the-throat type ending. That’s my favorite aspect of short stories.

In the first story, called Deal Breakerswe follow a woman who swipes right on a man and then goes on a date with him. She is 37, a successful furniture designer, owns her own home and doesn’t want children but wants a serious relationship. What role do these factors play in her attractiveness on the dating scene?

I think she’s well aware of how small the dating pool is, given these facts about her. I wonder if that influences some of her decision making.

Women often ignore their fear instinct out of politeness.– Shashi Bhat

This story was partly inspired by this non-fiction book that is often recommended to women on Reddit. It is called The gift of fear from this security expert, and one of the things he talks about is that women often ignore their fear instinct out of politeness. I think that’s part of the way she acts in this story, but I think part of it is also this kind of scarcity mentality, feeling like my options are limited.

Before she goes on that date, she carefully reviews the online dating profile, as one does. You rely on the information that’s there, right? Like what they’re looking for, the profile pictures, the state, you know, their job as an elementary school art teacher. To what extent does a person’s online profile affect our perception of that person in real life?

That’s one of the things I find so interesting about modern dating and why I love writing about dating. I was actually worried that writing about modern dating on apps would make people take the book less seriously. But I think dating is so fascinating on a character level. First, just like you just said, we paint that first impression and then there’s the truth of who we actually are. I also think dating comes with expectations that are built up through that profile and sometimes those expectations clash. Also, dating starts with longing, which I think is beautiful and which conveniently drives the fiction as well.

When you date, longing begins, and I find that beautiful and, conveniently, also the driving force behind fiction.– Shashi Bhat

Your cover story, Death by a thousand cutsis about a young woman of college age and her blue-eyed boyfriend. In the story, she mentally perceives everything problematic about him, including his constant microaggressions. He jokingly says that if they had children, it would be hard to lose them in the snow, but she just can’t shake it when he says, “You would look amazing with blue eyes.” Why does this comment affect her so much?

I’m so glad you used the word microaggressions because I don’t think I use that word in the story, but that was definitely what I was thinking of. I think that’s even how I came across the phrase “death by a thousand cuts,” I was just reading about microaggressions.

I think what I was getting at is that these comments are harmless to her boyfriend. He’s not saying them on purpose, but they have a pretty profound effect on her. And then of course she starts reading about blue eyes, and blue eyes are everywhere, there are songs about blue eyes. She stumbles upon this website where she learns about a procedure to turn brown eyes into blue. This procedure actually exists, and I was really surprised. I think it just gets under her skin and makes her question her appearance and also her ethnic identity in a way that she may not have done before.

I mentioned your tweet at your introduction, “What doesn’t kill you makes you write short stories,” and I’m curious how your real-life interactions and experiences influence your storytelling. Do you always interact with the writer’s lens?

I sometimes write about my personal experiences, but on paper they change. I wouldn’t call these stories autobiographical for the most part. I think I often strive for emotional truth.

It is also the story of a woman who is afraid to take up space, and that woman is often me.– Shashi Bhat

In a story like giantessfor example, it’s about a woman who is a female giant and works in the library, a literal giant, and I’m not a giant, I’ve never worked in the library. But I think it’s also a story about a woman who is afraid to take up space, and I’m often that woman.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.