A devastated mother who lost her 13-year-old son to suicide is bravely opening up to raise awareness so no other family has to endure the same heartache.

In January 2022, Jen Gordon’s son Devin took his own life and she is still coming to terms with the fact that she will never know why her eldest decided to end his life.

While Jen desperately searched for her son, calling him, texting him, hoping he would answer her, Devin finally sent a quick message.

It said: “I’m sorry, I love you.”

She says she replayed the day over and over in her head, trying to understand if there was anything she could have done differently to change things.

There are many things Jen wrestles with. Did she yell at her son, telling him to hurry up and get ready for school? Was there a clue, a small thing she missed that could have changed the course of her life?

She says she was troubled by the fact that he was seen pacing a lot after leaving his school in Bathgate, according to the Find My Friends app. What if someone had stopped him – would things have been different?

Studies have shown that 30 percent of all 10- to 19-year-olds who die by suicide do so without signs of distress.

Jen has spoken out as part of FC United’s new campaign to Prevent Suicide

The mother of three said: “He was 13 and should have been at school. If someone had stopped him and asked him…

“A lot of my research shows that it would have made a difference if someone had asked, ‘Are you OK?’.

“I called him again and again and I can imagine that he was desperate.

“That’s the most important thing for me: to give people the confidence that you’re not making the situation worse. When you walk past someone, just ask if they’re OK. You might get a stupid look, but that could be enough to get them back and talk. Maybe it was enough.

“I know people are so afraid of everything else, but statistically speaking, that doesn’t make it any worse – any more than using the word ‘suicide’ does. It’s just a taboo subject.”

Jen is right, of course. Talking about suicide does not make someone more likely to take their own life. In fact, the evidence suggests it can save a life.

She regrets that it takes a tragedy of this magnitude to prompt people to use the word suicide.

“I realized after the incident that there was a huge opportunity for everyone around to talk about it,” she continued. “But it shouldn’t be the topic of conversation when something happens.”

“I’m terrified to talk to my two about this, but I know I have to. I understand it’s totally terrifying, but they need to know they can talk about it, that it’s OK, and that they’ll have support. That’s half the battle.”

Jen also believes there needs to be more support for families who have lost a loved one to suicide.

“One of the biggest challenges is that there is not much support,” she said.

“To receive assistance, you must fill out a form and describe what happened.

“It’s so traumatic to sit down and write it down. It’s really difficult, so it took me a while to be able to do that.

“Even if you don’t fill out the form yourself, it’s hard to imagine someone having to relive what happened more than once.”

Jen has been supported by Suicide Prevention Scotland to raise awareness of the need to talk about suicide.

Ultimately, it took nearly two years for her children to receive the support they needed through expert advice from Winston’s Wish.

“I tried to protect them from that,” she said. “They were so resilient.”

“They have only just started counselling, but it has taken them two years to get an eight-week block; that is really difficult.

“It would be life-changing if there was support for everyone.”

The current suicide prevention action plan, developed as part of the Creating Hope Together strategy, includes the provision of bereavement support across Scotland.

Devin – a huge Hearts fan – was one of 762 people who took their own lives in 2022.

Jen was speaking at the launch of FC United’s new suicide prevention campaign, which centres around the idea of ​​a minute’s applause, something that is an integral part of football culture.

If everyone were to applaud for one minute, it would take twelve and a half hours to complete the event.

Jen’s message is simple. If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health or having suicidal thoughts, don’t hesitate to ask for help.

Contact the Samaritans, day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them free on 116 123, email them at [email protected] or visit samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.

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