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As anyone who has ever dated in the modern age will tell you, there comes a point when the endless swiping and small talk feels like a demoralizing chore. “Some people just stop,” my colleague Faith Hill wrote this week. For that article, she spoke to “six people who… still want a relationship—and they wouldn’t say no if one developed naturally—but they’ve vacillated between excitement and disappointment too many times to keep trying.”
These people aren’t just quitting dating apps or asking new people out, Faith writes. They’re facing the possibility of never finding the relationship they want. That can be painful, “but it can also be helpful,” Faith notes, “allowing people to grieve the future they once expected—and redefine what a fulfilling life could look like on their own terms.” Not only does dating take time; the desire for a partner can also take up a lot of a person’s attention and energy, Faith adds. By giving up that search, these people found that space suddenly opened up for the other wonderful parts of life.
About Dating
The people who stop dating
By Faith Hill
Being single can be hard – but finding love can be even harder.
Read the article.
Dear therapist, it is difficult to accept being single
By Lori Gottlieb
It’s getting really hard listening to my friends talk about their relationship problems.
Read the article.
The woman who made online dating a “science”
By Kaitlyn Tiffany
Almost 20 years ago, Helen Fisher revolutionized dating. She has no regrets.
Read the article.
Still curious?
- The five years that changed dating: When Tinder became available to all smartphone users in 2013, it ushered in a new era in the history of romance, wrote Ashley Fetters in 2018.
- The paradoxes of modern dating: At the beginning of the year, Faith and Atlantic Co-editor Lora Kelley discussed daters’ competing desires for structure and serenity.
Other distractions
PS
I recently asked my readers to share a photo of something that makes them feel awe at the world. Carolynn Kane, 62, of California, wrote: “The sun breaking through the ocean haze is in some ways a metaphor for life and hope. It always leaves me with a feeling of contentment.”
I will continue to publish your answers in the coming weeks. If you would like to share them, reply to this email with a photo and a short description so we can share your miracle with other readers in a future edition of this newsletter or on our website. Please include your name (initials are fine), age and location. By doing so, you agree that The Atlantic has permission to publish your photo and publicly attribute the response to you, including your first and last name, age and/or location that you share with your submission.
— Isabel
