My favorite drink as a child was orange juice. When I was a toddler, my parents would put watered down sugary juice in my sippy cup when I should have been drinking milk. In the 1980s, everyone thought this was OK, but then all my baby teeth rotted and fell out. So when you look at photos of me, I’m this cute little kid with a smile full of brown teeth. It goes without saying that my two daughters (ages six and two) are not allowed to drink fruit juice without immediately brushing their teeth afterward.
I start my morning with coffee, and lots of it. I drink way too much. We have a fancy coffee machine at home in Ilkley, Yorkshire, that grinds the beans for you. I’m a bit of a snob about the right beans – my favourite brand is Illy. I pretend I work at Starbucks and froth the warm milk and everything. My favourite is a nice, strong flat white with lots of foam. I can’t cope with coffee from the cafetière anymore, it just wouldn’t do.
The first place where I was served alcohol was in a pub near school in Apperley Bridge, Bradford. When I was 16, one of my friends got a fake ID, so we went for a beer at the end of the school day. I drank bottles of Beck’s because Britpop was the thing and all our idols drank beer from bottles. I thought I was a sort of female Liam Gallagher.
Jessica flew to LA for a date
On my first date with my partner we drank mimosas. I had actually asked Dan, (Crane, the filmmaker Jessica married in 2016) to a comedy show a few weeks earlier, but he didn’t know it was a date, so I’m not counting the gin and tonic we drank there. On our first official date, we went to brunch with mimosas in Shoreditch, east London. He stayed in the spare room of my tiny flat because he lived in America. Then I flew to Los Angeles for our second date. Yes, I flew to LA for a second date. That’s how desperate I was.
Jessica had a beer with Travis Kelce
The most unforgettable drink I’ve ever experienced it in rural Mexico. That was when I met Dan in LA. We were doing road trips across the border. One time we ended up in a tiny farm restaurant in the middle of nowhere with huge wine barrels you could climb on and sit on. It was incredible.
The most famous person I’ve ever shared a drink with is Travis Kelce. I was lucky enough to get tickets to see Taylor Swift at Wembley in June and got to have a beer with Travis (American footballer and Taylor’s boyfriend; footage of Travis and Jessica dancing with other celebrities went viral) in the VIP tent. He was an absolute dream guy and so accommodating and generous. We didn’t drink anything fancy, just bottles of Corona. It was a privilege to see the amazing Taylor and meeting Travis made it even better!
The worst drink I’ve ever tasted was in the pilot of a panel show called North versus South. They decided to combine two typical dishes, one from the north and one from the south, into a smoothie and let me drink it to see if I could guess what it was. They chose Yorkshire pudding and eel in aspic. Can you imagine how sick I felt after that?
My favorite karaoke song After a few drinks it’s “Horny” by Mousse T. I won’t say any more about it…
At my funeral, I want spicy margaritas served. It’s my favorite cocktail and everyone who gets drunk on tequila feels like a nice goodbye. I also like the myth that tequila makes people “happily drunk” and is the only alcohol that doesn’t have a depressing effect. That’s not true, but I still tell everyone that when I take my tenth sip of the night.
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