DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship for 11 years. We are not married or living together. We are both 57. It has been pretty rocky over the years. Sometimes he is controlling, other times he does nice things for me. Lately he has expressed a desire for us to “just have fun.” The problem is that he is having fun with his 27-year-old son and his friends and has managed to not include me at all. Then he asks me what I want to do.

When I mention some “date” activities, he is not interested. He finds better things to do with his child and complains to me that I never have any ideas for things to do. All he wants is sex with me. I want to do the fun things I’ve suggested. He claims he loves me and wants me to be part of his life. I feel like I’m just a handyman for him. Help me please! – UNHAPPY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR UNHAPPY: If there are things you’d like to do, do them with people who are willing to do them. While you’re doing that, ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship you want to have long-term. Whether your boyfriend is bored or having a midlife crisis is not for me to judge. But if you feel like he only values ​​you for the sex you provide, maybe it’s time to move on.

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Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.