KOBLENZ, Germany (AP) — Sascha Skochilenko and Sofya Subbotina want to get married. In their native Russia, this was not an option, but now that they live in Germany, where same-sex marriages are recognized, it is possible.

“We don’t know how or in which city we will do it, but that’s the plan,” Skochilenko, 33, told the Associated Press, looking lovingly at Subbotina, who was beaming with happiness.

They met again in Germany earlier this month, shortly after Skochilenko and other Russian prisoners were arrested in a historic East-West exchange – a happy, if unlikely, end to an ordeal that lasted more than two years.

Skochilenko, an artist and musician, was imprisoned for speaking out against Russia’s war in Ukraine. Subbotina campaigned for her partner’s release while trying to make her life behind bars as bearable as possible.

Marriage has also been discussed in Russia, but same-sex marriage is effectively banned there. Laws restricting LGBTQ+ rights have been in place for over a decade and have been tightened since the start of the war as part of the Kremlin’s campaign for “traditional values,” driven by its anti-Western views and close ties to the Russian Orthodox Church.

Now “I feel like I’m in a truly free country,” says Subbotina, as the two make plans to live together in the quiet town of Koblenz in western Germany.

An arrest and separation

Skochilenko was arrested in her hometown of St. Petersburg in 2022, just weeks after the invasion of Ukraine, for replacing price tags in a supermarket with anti-war messages, such as saying that Russia had bombed civilian targets. She was accused of making false statements about the military, which was part of the Massive crackdown on any dissenting opinion about the invasion.

She had a difficult time in custody because she suffered from a chronic illness, including celiac disease, and had to eat gluten-free meals. Subbotina commuted to Skochilenko’s prison at least twice a week, bringing food, medicine and other everyday items. She and her friends ensured that the case, which sparked public outrage, remained in the headlines.

Last year, Subbotina was diagnosed with cancer. “I just felt like giving up and, honestly, I was ready to die,” she said.

The couple did not see each other for a year. Since they were not married, investigators made Subbotina a witness in the case and denied her visits and phone calls from Skochilenko.

“It is no small thing when someone you love cannot visit you,” said Skochilenko.

Subbotina added that it was “very painful.” She knows many women who have married imprisoned men – often the wedding took place in pre-trial detention centers or penal colonies.

“They have the right to long visits, to phone calls and short visits, because in the eyes of the authorities they have a certain status,” she said. “We never had that opportunity.”

Subbotina says she was eventually allowed to make short visits.

They always spoke very openly about their relationship, despite the laws that prohibit any public endorsement of LGBTQ+ activitiesdriven by President Vladimir Putin’s close ties to the Russian Orthodox Church.

Skochilenko said it was clear as early as the 2010s that the Kremlin was heading in a “homophobic direction,” and some of the laws the authorities passed then prompted her to protest. In recent years, her outspokenness has been a form of activism, she said.

People “often have a distorted opinion of the LGBTQ+ community because they don’t know anyone” who loves someone of the same sex, and their views often change when that happens, she said.

“Why don’t you hope for a miracle?”

In November 2023, Skochilenko was convicted and sentenced to seven years in prison – an unusually harsh sentence.

This summer, as she waited for her appeal hearing in a detention center in St. Petersburg, she said she reached a point where she was particularly distressed by her long sentence. She said the lack of freedom and privacy, the constant strip searches and the persistent hunger because she could not eat prison food had traumatized her.

Subbotina visited her in July and Skochilenko remembers her bursting into tears for the first time in months.

“I told her, ‘Sonya, I’m tired of wanting to go home. Please tell me that I don’t have to serve the whole sentence and that a miracle will happen.’ And she said, ‘Yes, why don’t you hope for a miracle?'” Skochilenko said.

That same day, a prison official asked Skochilenko to “urgently” apply for a presidential pardon, she said. The artist did not want to admit guilt, but the official said she could simply explain her health problems. She wrote the application and then forgot about it, thinking it would take a long time to process.

A few days later, she was taken to Moscow without explanation. In the same van was Andrei Pivovarov, an imprisoned opposition politician she had known for years. There was little reason to move them both at the same time, which suggested that perhaps something good was happening.

Skochilenko spent several long days in Moscow’s notorious Lefortovo prison, where she was cold and hungry and unable to eat much of the food she was given.

Subbotina learned of the transfer and rushed to Moscow with a care package. She visited every internment camp she could think of, but to no avail.

An escape to freedom – and a new life together

The rest became what many Kremlin-critical Russians call the first good news since the war began. On August 1, Skochilenko and 15 others were put on a bus, driven to the airport and flown to Ankara, Turkey, where they were exchanged for eight Russians imprisoned in the West.

From Ankara, the former prisoners were flown to Germany, where they were greeted on the tarmac by Chancellor Olaf Scholz. The next day, Skochilenko was finally able to embrace Subbotina, who had flown to Germany when she heard the news.

The days since then have been “euphoric,” Skochilenko said, full of little pleasures like going for walks and shopping for groceries she wants – but also spending time with the woman she loves.

Subbotina particularly enjoys being able to hold Skochilenko’s hand and kiss her in public without any concerns. In Germany, she says, this is “just the nature of things.”

They have settled in Koblenz for now, but would like to visit other cities in Germany before deciding on a permanent place of residence. They can’t wait to learn German and start their new life.

Skochilenko plans to return to art and is exhibiting sketches she made about the prisoner exchange – a historic moment she was surprisingly involved in. She also said she plans to seek treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder from her time in prison.

Subbotina, a nurse and pharmacist whose cancer treatment was successful in Russia, hopes to work in human rights and help the hundreds of political prisoners in her former country.

Both admit that they never expected to have to leave Russia in this way.

“The move is not stressful for me because I am very happy. I am very glad that Sasha is with me,” Subbotina said with a smile.

Skochilenko added: “My relationship with Russia is over. I have to accept that. I am happy that there is a new life.”

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