Curating
On social media, I only like content that benefits me, and my algorithm is pretty good now. My feed is full of women’s rights, single mothers, people with ADHD, and people who are open about their truth – rather than people who promote a lifestyle that makes parenting seem carefree and easy. There’s also a lot of fashion, because I love it.
Learn
I will never forget the condemnation I received when the media falsely reported that I was raising my children gender-neutral. What I meant was that I wanted to make sure they didn’t feel limited by what society and patriarchy tell us – that our roles, abilities or interests should be based on gender.
guide
At the end of my book, there’s a checklist for my daughters where I lay out my hopes for them. I don’t want them to compromise who they are. I’ve always felt that the only way I can get what I want in a relationship is to belittle myself. I don’t do that anymore. And I don’t want them to, either.
Own
When I talk about my struggles with motherhood and IVF, people say I’m ungrateful. I know better than anyone how grateful I am. When people react like that, it’s annoying, and I think that’s why so many mothers, for fear of judgement, have to qualify every downside of parenthood with the caveat that they put their children first.
MILF: Motherhood, Identity, Love and F*cking
Move
I have always been active, having trained as a contemporary dancer. There were only seven months of my life (during pregnancy) when I did not train intensely. I train four times a week; it’s a combination of weight lifting, running, HIIT and minute-by-minute interval training. Sometimes I think that if I didn’t work in my industry, I might not do it as often.
Educate
Writing a book is a huge undertaking, but I wanted to do it because I feel like society neglects women and mothers. It makes us feel isolated because we end up having to pretend that everything is magical when it isn’t always the case. It’s hard and women have it tough. The book is a metaphorical hug for a lot of women and hopefully it will teach some men something too.
Discover
My whole career so far has been pretty short, so writing books has been good for me because I can go deeper into topics that I have a lot to say about. We live in this culture of headline-grabbing, assembly-line writing, so I’m glad I’ve been able to write in a longer format. It wasn’t hard for me to be that honest – that’s just who I am.
Change
I don’t think co-parenting exists; women still do most of the parenting. There are anomalies, but we need changes – from employers, from society – so that women are less pressured. Being a single mother is hard, but I have two evenings a week where my daughters are with their father and can do whatever I want; I miss them though.
MILF: Motherhood, Identity, Love and F*cking is now out
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Perdita Nouril is the Beauty Editor at Women’s Health UK. She has worked in the beauty industry for 15 years since graduating from the University of Nottingham. She is an expert at exploring the vast world of beauty and loves to look beneath the surface to debunk myths, decipher the science and challenge traditional beauty ideals. She is constantly preaching about the power of a red lip, extolling the virtues of a good serum and promoting the best female beauty founders.
You can find Perdita on Instagram at @perditanouril
