A friend recently complained that Hurricane Debby, hovering over the South Carolina coast, would likely destroy his beach house. A client mentioned that her boss called her into his office after a meeting and she was sure she would be fired. A family member insisted before his MRI scan that a tumor was malignant. The results of all three scenarios were the exact opposite of the stories they had made up. Hurricane Debby spared my friend’s beach house, the client was promoted instead of fired, and the family member’s tumor turned out to be benign.

If you’re like most people, you have an “inner fortune teller” who creates negative stories about your future before it even happens: “I’m probably not going to meet the deadline,” or “I’m afraid of failing the interview,” or “What if I get a bad performance review?”

The tool of “Intentional Authoring”

Some people emerge from challenges stronger and more successful, while others seem trapped in the role of victim and failure. According to Lior Arussy in his book: Dare to be an author: take responsibility for the narrative of your lifeThe decisive factor for success or failure lies in the Story People create their experiences. He calls this process “intentional writing” – an invitation to write and take responsibility for your own career story, to be purposeful, to dream, and to find a way to make that dream come true.

“Authorship is a proactive approach to turning life experiences into celebrated chapters and milestones. But authorship doesn’t simply make sense of the past; it transforms those experiences into guiding life lessons, strength, and resilience that prepare you to meet your next challenge,” explains Arussy. “This means shaping experiences – both positive and negative, planned and unexpected – so that they You from the role of victim into the role of protagonist.”

He notes that the biggest obstacle to moving forward is clinging to an old story. When leaders and team members write their own stories, they turn their past experiences into strength for the future. It’s about taking ownership of your career story, focusing on the power you have, and using it to build the career you want.

When leaders and team members feel stuck, they need to look at the stories they tell themselves about their own lives and future careers. “We all live in stories. But stories are not facts – they are narratives we create based on our past experiences and the voices in our heads,” Arussy emphasizes. “Many people are unable to face challenges because they have not managed to articulate their past experiences and transform them into future-proof strength.”

The first step to living a better life, says Arussy, is to realize that you’re viewing your experiences through a lens that obscures the facts. “We tend to reinforce our current state rather than embrace new possibilities.” This manifests itself in a number of harmful ways, including imposter syndrome, confirmation bias, and difficulty accepting compliments. But you have the power to change your mindset and break free from these common biased perspectives. To overcome imposter syndrome, ask yourself questions like: What skills and experience do I have that are relevant to my role? What impact do I have on people when I perform this task?

Using the universal experience of Covid-19 as an example, Arussy says you can write – or rewrite – your Covid-19 “chapter” with questions that help you reflect on how you handled each phase of the pandemic: What new habits or strategies did you develop? What personal “superpower” was revealed?

The science of self-distancing

Fictional stories are endless exaggerated thoughts that flow through our minds and that we cling to as fact – worries, warnings and ruminations that prevent us from enjoying the present moment. They magnify the worry of the worst-case scenario and replay the distorted picture in our heads over and over. We end up worrying about a magnification of the problem (a made-up story) – not the real problem, and the stories become obstacles to career advancement.

When a made-up story circles around your mind like a school of sharks, you can observe it just as you would examine a blemish on your hand. This self-distancing prevents the fortune teller from taking control of your career with their inaccurate story, and revises the inaccurate story in your mind just as you would revise a written report: “Bryan, you can do this. You’ve overcome bigger obstacles than this.” After revising, this is no longer the only story circling around in your mind. You become the narrator of your career with the objective bird’s eye view of an outside observer, as if it were happening to someone else. Using this self-distancing tool separates you from the made-up story and prevents you from falling back into that negative loop over and over again.

The benefits of writing a story, says Arussy, extend beyond the leaders themselves. Stories help leaders build a connection with their teams and their employees. Stories illustrate a leader’s intentions and vision by revealing the choices they have made in the past. They generate trust and commitment. “Changing a mindset is not just a matter of deciding to do it,” the author concludes. “It’s about practicing the decision in a real situation. If we don’t consciously write our own stories, we are living in a story invented by people. for but not us from us.”