Cowards. They’re all cowards. YouTuber Alex Corea, aka No Bitrate, claims influential content creators haven’t done enough to recreate video game items, especially weapons, in real life. So he took it upon himself to create the only thing that hasn’t crossed over from the virtual world into reality: the Mario Kart case.
And not just making the shell. That’s the easy part, thanks to 3D printers. The fun, frustrating, and fearlessly stupid part is using the shell as a weapon, like in the game. For those who have never been challenged by their neighbors (and their kids) to a round of Mario Kart, in the game, a shell not only spins your opponent’s vehicle, but also throws your opponent out of said vehicle.
The nearly 35-minute video documents a lot of trial and error. But mostly a lot of mistakes that happen when you have a budget for rockets and cheap cars, but no real rocket scientists to help build the thing. This is not October skyPeople. It is not even October sky on a budget. However, if you get past the first 20 minutes of hype, it’s a reasonably entertaining experience.
For example, initial calculations based on speed data from the video game showed the shells were traveling at about 69 miles per hour. While that’s an amusing number for teenagers, it’s just not fast enough for Reddit. So they go back to the board and, using internet math taught by gamer fanboys, calculate the travel speed to be between 236 and 275 miles per hour. Cowagbunga, man.
After acquiring sufficiently powerful Class H rockets through possibly questionable means, No Bitrate installs a rocket motor in a shell for a test flight. Of course, it fails miserably, as the shell does not fly straight but instead turns upside down, bounces to the ground, and falls off-screen into the bushes. Ah, physics.
This shouldn’t be a surprise, though, considering that a turtle’s shell is designed not for speed above the ground, but for burrowing underground. And when it comes to rockets, even non-rocket scientists will tell you that they require aerodynamics and stability. And so the team at No Bitrate adds a rocket-like tube with fins to the shell.
While this no longer looks like the standalone turtle shell used in Mario Kart, it’s at this point in the video (about halfway through) that safety actually becomes an issue. Looks aside, the new tank rocket works, flying through the air in a relatively straight line and missing its target, the Mario doll, by a foot. But that’s from a stationary vehicle. The idea is to move during the rocket launch.
And we need a bigger goal.
Enter a second-generation Nissan Quest that I bought for a thousand dollars on Facebook Marketplace. It has amenities like a built-in VHS player, more dangling wires than it came with from the factory, and an engine that wants to become a tractor when it grows. Perfect!
But first, the “kart,” a 1996 Suzuki X-90, needs to be armored — literally. The team at No Bitrate installs a metal plate with two peepholes on the windshield. The launch pad itself is also placed on a steel plate, but attached to the Suzuki’s glass T-top with suction cups. This is definitely not an OSHA-approved test.
After the Nissan had shown its very best side, it was time for the show.
And they obviously shot too early, that’s what everyone said.
The next attempt also failed, but all good things come in threes! Another failure. And they couldn’t get any closer when the rocket flew under the rear bumper. What. Are. The. Chances?
Three months of scientific work resulted in zero hits and three missiles remaining. The options are to try three more times with one missile or once with three missiles. Of course, it will be the latter.
But that didn’t work either. Well, it worked, but not in the way they intended.
Instead of launching simultaneously, rockets one and two went off one after the other. Number three appeared to get stuck and was subsequently aborted. But the Nissan had been hit! The first rocket hit the van at the B-pillar, while the second rocket hit the BFE.
Hooray! Cheers! A round of drinks?! No, there was one rocket left and a relatively intact minivan waiting to be destroyed. Let’s just say a new launch pad was built to accommodate the now red hull. No idea what I mean. You can watch the endgame via this link.
