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14 embarrassing etiquette mistakes you should avoid


14 embarrassing etiquette mistakes you should avoid

Use of “Sir” and “Ma’am”

Man and woman on bench, smiling
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Many people were raised to address others respectfully as Sir and Ma’am. Although this was polite when addressing adults as a child, it is not the best etiquette once we leave childhood behind because it can carry connotations of subservience or old age.

“As we get older, it’s much more appropriate to address someone by name,” Gottsman explains. If addressing someone by their first name seems too informal, you can address the person by their title and last name to show respect.

Toast

Friends toasting with red wine glasses at a wedding
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That’s surprising! You shouldn’t clink glasses after a toast. That’s because your host may be serving you their best glass. You don’t want to spill your drink on the beautiful table linens when you throw your cup around, and you certainly don’t want to damage or break your host’s beautiful glasses.

Of course, if someone tries to toast you, you should do so politely and not correct or ignore them. However, the preferred response to a toast is to raise your glass and nod to the other guests. Toasting is not required.

Publishing images online without permission

happy friends taking a selfie at home
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You love that photo of you at a party, but next to you is your friend taking a bite. Should you post the photo anyway? No, says Gottsman. Your friend will not appreciate having an unflattering photo of him posted online, no matter how good you look. And for safety reasons, children’s photos should never be posted online without parental permission.

RELATED: The problem with grandparents posting photos of their grandchildren online

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Ask for separate bills at the end of the meal

Denmark, Aarhus, young waitress takes order
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When you go out with friends, you don’t always want to put the entire bill on one card. It’s perfectly acceptable to request that your orders be issued on separate bills, as long as you ask before You order. Waiting for the bill to arrive and then asking the waiter to convert them into separate bills is a hassle for the staff.

Ask for your own leftovers

Older people at potluck lunch
Huntstock//Getty Images

Just as you wouldn’t ask for a gift, it’s bad etiquette to try to take your food home. Tell the host to enjoy the leftovers and you can come back to pick up your serving dishes at another time. However, if the host gives you back your leftovers or insists you take some home, it’s OK to gratefully accept their offer.

RELATED: Would you like to give something away as a gift? Etiquette experts recommend following these rules

Hold up your little finger

Woman holding ornate gold plated teacup and saucer
Paul Taylor//Getty Images

This is actually not good manners, although many people think it’s chic! Gottsman calls it “affected” and explains that it makes you look like you’re trying too hard to draw attention to your supposedly good manners. The best etiquette is to hold the cup correctly and not draw attention to yourself.

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Start eating in front of the host

Hands of an elderly man holding a salad bowl while preparing the dining table for a party
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A dinner party is not a drive-thru. Don’t jump in when you get your food! Wait until everyone has been served and your host takes the first bite, no matter how delicious the food smells.

Ask if you can bring a companion

Wedding invitation on laid table, studio shot
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You receive an invitation to a wedding, but it only has your name on it. This is a clear sign that you will not have anyone accompanying you to the event.

Even if you want to bring a friend or significant other, you should respect the host’s invitation. They may keep the guest list small or only invite married or engaged significant others. Asking to bring another companion may put the host in an awkward position if they can’t accommodate additional guests.

RELATED: Wedding etiquette rules you should always follow

Stay seated for an introduction

Businesswomen shaking hands in a modern office
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Always stand up when you are introduced to someone. This way you show respect to both the other person and yourself. “Always greet with your feet,” says Gottsman, who emphasizes that a greeting is not just about words, but also about body language.

Even though it’s tempting to stay seated, a little effort goes a long way toward making a good first impression.

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Posting on social media in front of the bride and groom

Bride and groom take selfie photo
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Trust us, people getting married don’t want you to live stream their wedding on your social media. If the couple has a specific hashtag for posting pictures on social media, feel free to post under that hashtag since you’ve been invited to do so. In other cases, however, you should let the bride and groom share their special moment first and then post your party pictures.

RELATED: The Absolute Rudest Things You Can Do at a Wedding

Too much eye contact

Businesswomen discussing project in office conference room
Thomas Barwick//Getty Images

It is a mistake of etiquette, avoid Eye contact with the people you are talking to. But it is also a mistake to too much also eye contact. Since eye contact can be intense and even a little intimate, too much of it sends too strong a message. Aim for eye contact for a few seconds at a time. Gottsman advises that you can also look between people’s eyebrows, which shows that you’re looking at them without making direct eye contact.

Tip 15%

contactless payment in restaurant, wireless card reader for scanning credit card from customer's hand in cafe, view from a high angle
Olga Rolenko//Getty Images

Suddenly, it seems like tipping is everywhere. While you shouldn’t feel pressured to tip on every transaction, it’s important to understand tipping etiquette. The customary tip used to be 15%, but with “tiplation,” 20% is now expected.

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Do not send a thank you message

A woman writes a thank you note on a greeting card with a red envelope.
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This is a fairly well-known etiquette faux pas, but it’s worth repeating. Whether someone gives you a thoughtful gift or spends their time helping you, you should always thank them appropriately. A handwritten thank you card is a simple and classy way to show your appreciation. Leaving out a thank you note can leave the gift-giver feeling unappreciated or even wondering if you even received the gift.

RELATED: Heartfelt messages of thanks

Oversharing on social media

Close up of female hands with blue manicure with pink smartphone outdoors
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The popularity of social media has made it a little too easy to overshare online. It’s harder to “read the mood in the room” when you’re posting to people whose reactions you can’t see. From political rants to TMI stories, stay off your social media and both you and your followers will be happier.

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Sarah Vincent (she/her) reports on the latest and best books and everything about pets for Good housekeepingShe studied creative writing and criminal justice at Loyola University Chicago and sat in the front row at every basketball game there. In her free time, she enjoys cooking and crafting, learning Japanese and, of course, reading.

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